Assumption of Command

09 April 2005

"Where ewe from?"

I was reading basil's blog the other day and I ran in to this post about being a host family for his hometown minor league baseball team. Its a good story, but I found this funny:

Opening Day II

The Dodgers seem to have a large number of OCONUS (Outside the CONtinental United States) players. Many from Latin American countries, or from the Islands, or from Asia. Or from . Yeah, they talk English different in Pennsylvania, Missouri, and California. At least, different that what you hear around here.
Either basil is confused, (which wouldn't be the first time) or I misread what he said. (which wouldn't be a first time either) It sounds like he is saying Pennsylvania, Missouri, and California are OCONUS. basil is from Georgia. That explains a lot about his opinions of where people are from.

One of the neat parts about being on active duty with the military is being able to see parts of the country that you would not normally see. Okay, I am seeing parts of the world that I wouldn't normally see as well, but that is not what this post is about. During my active duty time I had the "privilege" of spending a few months in basil's home state of Georgia. It didn't take me long to for me (and everybody else) to figure out I was in an unfamiliar place.

Upon arrival in Georgia, after the 1000 mile road trip, I wanted to eat. The first place I found after I checked in to my hotel, was a Waffle House. I soon came to find out this is not a coincidence in Georgia as there is a Waffle house every half mile. When I sat at the bar and the lady with some missing teeth (I AM NOTE JOKING HERE. Seriously, she has a smile a hockey player would love.) took my order. Next was a 90 decibel verbal assault of "Qarter Plate! Scatterd, Smattered, Smuddered, Cubberd!" In actuality she was giving my order to the cook and I was the only one in the place that thought this was weird.

Then the lady proceeded to serve my drink. I asked for an Iced Tea. Before I go on I must explain something. Growing up I liked Iced tea, but I had to add a ton of sugar to it. (My dad, Mustang Sarge, still has to have it this way) but during college I managed to cut the sugar, but I increased the lemon. Back to the story. The server brings this glass of "Iced Tea" and sets it down. Every restaurant I had ever been, when you ask for Iced tea you have to add your own sugar if you want it.

Boy was I shocked. After the long day on the road, I took a huge gulp of what I thought was going to be a refreshing glass of Iced Tea. But instead I got this mixture that was so think of syrup and sugar that you probably had to use a paint mixer from Home depot to stir it up. I was very proud that I didn't give the lady a shower of "Sweet Tea" as it nearly came back out in projectile manner. Think of someone telling a good joke at the same time as you take a drink. Like I said I was proud this didn't happen. I nearly choked trying not to spit it all over. I think my eyes we about as big as Jumbo eggs at this point. I immediately looked at the server and said "What in world is this!" Without missing a beat she said, "Where ewe from?" At that exact moment I knew this place was way different than anywhere I had ever been.

The next few months I hung out with a guy from Virginia. He explained to me that sweet tea is just normal. Every chance we got, we would argue about it. We went out to eat many times and I had to frustratingly ask for unsweetened Tea. which just bother the living crud out of me, because if someone wants Sweet Tea they can just add sugar, but that is not how it went. So my buddy was making fun of me the whole time there. Later on we made a weekend trip to Atlanta. while there we saw some cool stuff and decided to eat at Planet Hollywood. As normal, my friend asked for Sweet Tea. The server replied, "Sorry sir, we only have REGULAR tea here." with a big smile on my face I said, "Thank God! We have finally found Civilization"

The moral of the story is: basil Likes Baseball as much as I do, but he is still weird. (But I still like him) :)

Update: basil responds by saying Atlanta is in some other Georgia. :)