Assumption of Command

08 August 2005

And Now For Something We Hope You'll Really Like!

Here's the thing: I’m not a soldier. I have never served in the Army, be it the U.S. Army, the Salvation Army, or the KISS Army. I have not served in the Air Force, the Marines, or the Navy (though I did turn down a Navy ROTC scholarship). My only connections to the armed forces are that I was born in an army hospital (because my mother was in the Navy), conducted scams… er, "research" for the Army while in graduate school, and have auto and homeowners insurance through USAA (thanks Mom!). Otherwise, I simply bask in the safety and security provided by our brave servicemen and women.

The point is, I can't provide valuable insights into what life is like for our soldiers. I can't describe what it’s like "on the ground" in Iraq, or offer first-hand accounts of the progress of our mission in that country. If you visit this blog for Mustang’s commentary on such matters, then I'm afraid I may be a disappointment.

You see, I'm far more familiar with the Midwest than I am with the Middle East. With the exception of four years in San Antonio and five in Minneapolis, I've spent my entire life in the Kansas City area. I'm a computer programmer who has dabbled in high explosives and poisonous gases, and until he began his unplanned desert vacation, I worked and shared a house with Mustang. I consider him a friend, and, as a friend, he asked me to guest blog for him while he does … well, whatever it is he does. It's supposed to get him home sooner, so I said "yes."

I know Mustang by another name, of course. Several, actually, but most of them shouldn't be repeated. I'm well-acquainted with several of the comment section regulars: I've attended family functions with Mustang Sarge, Mustang Mama, Mustang Aunt, and Mustang Sis … um, make that KCNK. I've socialized with A Souldier's Prayer and Walking Eagle. I can decode the meaning of the name FCC@V. I know where RCBEEP lives. I've sampled the sugar cookies for which Mustang Mama is famous, and I'm familiar with who first suggested sending Strawberry Shortcake sheets to our favorite company commander. I'm privy to information. I know things. And if you're under the impression that I'm going to tell you those things, then you're absolutely right. But it'll cost you.

So place your bids in the comments section. (The winner will also receive a copy of my best-selling dissertation, "Ammonia Oxidation Catalysis: Hydrogen, Hydrogen Cyanide, and Nitric Oxide".) In the meantime, I'll keep posting. There will still be commentary on the news of the day, and caption contests will always have a place here. But there will also be discussions of history, and art, and science, and Simpsons! They'll be the best blog posts ever written. Well, they'll be okay. Probably not the worst. I'm thinking middle. High middle. So buckle up and stay tuned for more of that patented Dave "high-middle" excitement. It's on its way.