Simpsons Quote Saturday

Offered without context or explanation.

I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola; where fiery demons will punch me in the back; where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers; where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds!"
--Reverend Timothy Lovejoy, addressing the children in his congregation.